if only she knew tt i've been practicing more than words. trying to get it right and fine tune. its hard to sing and play tt song at the same time. n i'm not tt kinda guitarist somemore. but i've been trying. still am.

i've made a mistake.... n now i gotta pay for it too.... to realise tt i do love my dear dear n find myself again.

i took mc today. stomach not feeling well. n... think its time for me to go back..

maybe i'm meant to be alone too.. n if my dear dear really dun wan me anymore. i've asked for it too. maybe i'm not a good bf too~ it hard but i'd try to improve....

wanted to del this blog actually. dun wanna blog anymore. i realise how tired i am in the ministry. that now sometimes its hard for me to go back. even the envision blog also.

but slowly i am starting to help out. playing drums of all instruments. well..

one of the biggest challenges i face is time. sometimes i'm so busy. problem here.. is.. when i'm with my dear dear i have not much time to help with ministry. if i do help i have no time for my dear dear. dun tell me to balance. there's still work, sch and travel i need to cover.

this attachment period sucks even more. really sucks. no time for anything. ya my pay is good. i know my colleages. but my work hours and days.

i've been thinking a lot lately. abt what God wants me to do. i've so much on my mind. but nothing like figuring out some lyrics and chords for God. thats best. especially when i can get an excellent band to help me play it. wow. thats my dream really. united, planet shakers kinda thing.

i feel so tired sometimes. and i've really neglected my friends. they might never see this but i wanna write it none the less...

guys up first:

kha, jamie... my 2 bros. who supported me all the way thru n never left me alone.
leroy... was always a pleasure marching and commanding alongside u. this is the man i wanna be beside in a war.
kw and shaun... we've known for years. thanks for everything so far bros.!
kg... u also! haha this bro is one i have lots of memories with as well. some of the most meaningful ones too. remember God loves u dude! 
sino, wan and xiang. i never told u how much i enjoy being with u guys. but i do treasure the times we bunk at my place and have lan parties. really enjoy them! when's the next!
chee hai... what started out as a simple fixing com session blossomed into our friendship. thanks for everything man. i'll remember u :)
my colleages dave, alex, algene, james, john, wong, chan, benson, steven, boss son jason and not to forget quek and toh. n mr hong! best men!
cs max and gang... computer dudes! max i always enjoy cheonging tt 150 systems with u maN! haha~
crusaders jason ronald robin jeremy n many whom i cant think of now. u guys rock. keep rocking for God u hear! :)

ladies:

yanching... thanks for always being there for me since we were kids!
yvette... we could always talk about everything. i hope ur doing fine. well i do hope we can still share like last time too...
shereen... wishing u and bf all the best always. God bless ya!
geri... i have tt photo of u and kha on the wall beside me always. cuz i know ur always there~
nise and pat... take care ya dun always cheong cheong cheong. espec nise!
caroline... hey its been a long time!
may... i hope life is not too tough on u ya. take care!
peiru... how is u and ur bf too! hope u found the man of ur life :) thanks for all the stuff u bought for me on ur overseas trips!
shann... my twin. i hope that the vision and dreams God has given us never stray. and that we would hold them n stick to them no matter what. use our gifts and experience to help others. to help them learn n grow too. and to minister with more than just wisdom.
amanda... long time no see already!
elne... all the best for ur portfolio! :)
peiyi.. lishi n samantha... 3 of my oldest lady friends! hope life is good for u all now! take care ya~!

i know i missed out some. n many. but yea well. thanks for being my friend.

i need to find what God wants me to do again. i need to find myself again. suddenly i dunno why i've lost it. n i do feel lost and in between. i dunlike tt. but life is really not going comfy.. n i really need to be praying....

dedicated to my dear dear! :)

Celine Dion + R.kelly - I'm your angel

(Celine)
No mountains too high for you to climb
All you have to do, is have some climbing faith
No river is too wide for you to make it across
All you have to do, is believe it when you pray

(R Kelly)
And then you will see the morning will come,
and everyday will be bright as the sun 
All of your fears, cast them on me
I just want you to see

(C&R chorus)
I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I hear your voices when you call me
I am your Angel,
And when all hope is gone I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your Angel, I'm your Angel

(R Kelly)
I saw your tear drops and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and your still lonely
It don't have to be this way
Let me show you a better day

(Celine)
Then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears just cast them on me
How can I make you see?

chorus

(R)
And when it's time to face the storm
(C)
I'll be right by your side
(R)
Grace will keep us safe and warm
and I know we will survive
(C)
And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky